i think my tv is drunk
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
