I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just high enough for therapy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Randomize