Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my being single is dangerous.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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