Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
