before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
