what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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