So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
