i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
