I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
