My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
