Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The beer is more important than you right now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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