It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
