We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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