Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
