Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
