I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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