So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
