i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
