we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
