Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
