and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
