talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
