She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
