There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
