Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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