Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
