we're blogging at a bar
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
