I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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