he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
