Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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