Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
