My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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