you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
