I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
