he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
