omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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