Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
