Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
