Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
birth control should be required to get into college
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
