Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
