we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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