sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize