Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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