I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
