I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
