so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
