I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
