I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
