i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize