Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Randomize
