You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
