So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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