Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
