i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
