im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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