HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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