I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize