We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
