We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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