His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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