This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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