I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it glows. i had to have it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
