Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
