I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
