Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
