areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
